Author Archives: Guest Writer
Going home for the Holidays is rough, isn’t it? We primp, preen, slap on some sassy heels and apply the mascara *just* so only to walk into a spitting image of ourselves 10 or twenty years younger and cringing in the corner. Family gathers around us and smile. Fingers poke, prod and pretend. They say […]
Floating heads are all the rage. In the fatsosphere and beyond, we get floating heads and elegantly draped bodices adorned in jewels and sparkle. Alluring smiles and dashing eye shadow frames perfectly pecked cheeks and the cutest dimples I’ve ever seen on a grown man. Hair is coifed and sexy and when not, attention is […]
I like to knit. I learned when I was a kid, and I got into it again because of work (which is a long story for another post). I like it because I like the idea of being able to take measurements, do some math, and make a hat or shirt or socks that fits […]
Thin is In and White is Alright The Fantasy of Being Thin is not just about becoming small enough to be perceived as more acceptable. It is about becoming an entirely different person – one with far more courage, confidence, and luck than the fat you has. It’s not just, “When I’m thin, I’ll look […]
How to join The Great Pumpkin in 10 easy steps: 10. Eat some. Is good. I buy mine at Trader Joe’s because that’s where I shop; I happen to live near one. It comes in a glass jar and so far is good for a year. Maybe longer. 9. Sniff someone else’s eating of some. […]
She leaned over the small table separating us from one another and grinned. “And what do you mean by ‘femme’ in this context?” she says with eyes too clear for prodding, too rambling for security. I don’t know. I’m pushing at a coaster strewn haphazardly on a side table and begin fingering the cord connecting […]
If you have issues with knee-high boots not zipping up over your calves (like I always have, even when I was thin — former dancer), here’s an idea that I came up with, that works great. Lace them up with elastic. Using elastic, you can lace them much more tightly, and still have the stretch […]
Seriusly…..I received a dress (2 actually) from Alight (alight.com) about 3 1/2 weeks after I ordered it. They claim this is because they were moving warehouses and thus things were taking longer to ship. Fine. I receive both dresses on a Friday and return one promptly on Monday – it was a Mlle Gabriele brand […]
Am I the only one who keeps finding myself in these situations? I have a pretty diverse selection of friends, as a result of which I tend to end up at parties or general hangouts where I only know one person. These hangouts usually consist almost exclusively of women around my age (I’m 30), and […]
I have 10 fingers and 10 toes. I have two hands and two feet. Everything spaced equally, I can only count so far in one day. Thus I cannot quantify how many times a day or week “HELP MY HAIR” posts show up on the interwebs. I can’t tell you how often I feel for […]
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