Comments on: Short Cuts: Kitchen Sink edition

By: thirtiesgirl

thirtiesgirl — Wed, 17 Aug 2011 17:34:57 +0000

I just saw another thing today. TLC network is launching a new plus size ‘reality’ show about 4 fat women trying to make it as plus size models in New York. I saw a teaser commercial for the show this morning. From what I saw, it looks like the show partially focuses on the women’s lives, and is not just all about fashion and modeling. Info on the show can be found here: http://press.discovery.com/us/tlc/programs/big-sexy/

I had a problem with one of the statements made by one of the fat women in the teaser commercial. She says, “Once you go big, you’ll never go ‘twig,’” using the dehumanizing term ‘twig’ to designate thinner women. Ugh. It’s the whole “real women have curves” thing again, as if someone is “less real” because they’re not fat. That’s not size acceptance, as far as I’m concerned, and I’m hoping I don’t see it on TLC’s new show. It airs on TLC on August 30, so I’ll be watching to see how they do.

By: Flo

Flo — Wed, 17 Aug 2011 16:05:43 +0000

While all of these things are sometimes true, not all women who wear burquas (or chadors or hijab etc.) do so because they are either forced or have “drunk the kool-aid” as you say. You claim that wearing a burqua erases women’s individuality, however I remember having a conversation in which a hijabi woman told me she wears it partly as a way for her thoughts to be taken more seriously. In our culture women are often judged (especially by men) on their bodies, their physical appearance. When that body is concealed people are forced to judge one’s thoughts and actions instead. She liked being able to have conversations with men, where her personality mattered more than her body. Clearly women should not be forced into covering themselves, but claiming that all women who do are somehow brainwashed is disrespectful to a group who as Lesley so well put it, “frankly gets enough shit already.”

By: Emerald

Emerald — Tue, 16 Aug 2011 21:08:44 +0000

‘American burqa’…ugh. Unfortunately, on almost every debate here as to the allowability in the UK of this and various other face- and/or body-hiding garments, there have been comments from men who say, yes, they approve of burqas! But only on fat women! Because, only women hot enough to not offend their delicate penii should be allowed to go out uncovered in public. Sheesh.

And, I read your xoJane article at work, but thanks to their security filters, hadn’t gotten to read the comments till now. Thank you for writing this. Because this kind of crap happening to women reminds me why I still believe feminism is necessary, dammit.

By: Julie2

Julie2 — Sat, 13 Aug 2011 20:53:59 +0000

And she wrote that memoir about sex addiction, yes? Also, duh, obviously, contributing to her expertise in this area.

You’d think being raised at least in part by John Cheever would earn you an associate’s degree from the School of Hard Knocks, but clearly there are points missed by even the keenest students.

By: Lurker65

Lurker65 — Thu, 11 Aug 2011 20:29:35 +0000

Ok, here’s me being mean: Carrie Fisher doesn’t need a diet, she needs a stylist.

By: Lurker65

Lurker65 — Thu, 11 Aug 2011 20:28:32 +0000

I just spit iced T all over my keyboard.

By: Savannah D

Savannah D — Thu, 11 Aug 2011 02:23:17 +0000

But if being mean makes you skinny, how come bullies and villains in childrens’ books are always fat??? LOGISTICAL FLAW

Also I always wish I could hear the photographer coaching the “before” shots. “No smiling! Try to think about how much your fat life sucks!”

By: thirtiesgirl

thirtiesgirl — Thu, 11 Aug 2011 00:30:57 +0000

Just thought I’d call your attention to this: former NY mayor and House of Reps member Ed Koch and his sister Pat have written an “anti-bullying” children’s book called “Eddie Shapes Up,” in which the bullied main character, Eddie, is essentially told to “shape up” and drop some lbs in order to “stop being such a target” for bullies. Oy… *eyeroll*. Dr. Deah Schwartz, who is, I believe, a member of NAAFA, has written about it on her blog, here: http://networkedblogs.com/lvaSl

By: Nynaeve

Nynaeve — Wed, 10 Aug 2011 19:42:11 +0000

“For one, the burqa — the actual fabric burqa — is not an oppressive evil force, and painting it as such not only erases the agency of the women who choose to wear it, but also insults a culture and religious tradition that frankly gets enough shit already.”

Let’s put aside Susan the Mean and focus on the burqa itself. The actual fabric burqa is an oppressive evil force. For starters, it is hot; it covers everything, and I mean everything; and it both robs women of their individuality and foists upon them the idea that their bodies, by virtue of being female, are unclean. Women’s bodies incite lustful thoughts and deeds in men, so women’s bodies must be covered up: this is the logic behind the burqa (and the chador). This links back to the post about female gamers being restricted from participating in the gaming get-together, whereby women were protected from dangerous menfolk by just being shunned.

Most women who wear burqas do not wear these atrocious things out of joy. Some women have drunk the Kool-Aid and think that, yes, their bodies are unclean before God / Allah and that they must cover up, both to avoid offending God / Allah and to avoid inciting the lust of men. (Which, as pointed out above, doesn’t even work – women in burqas are raped more than we’d like to think.)

Yes, I admit it: I openly loathe a cultural tradition which teaches women they are little better than animals; that men, by virtue of their having penises, are vastly superior to everything except for God / Allah; and that women exist to be servile to men. Education? Rights? Excuse the men of this cultural tradition while they double over with laughter. Oh, and be prepared for them to routinely beat their wives. It’s not only common, it’s expected.

Did I forget to mention that I’m half Middle Eastern, with a strict father who is actually from the Middle East, and who is considered quite lenient by Middle Eastern standards? Lenient though he may be, he certainly hammered down the law: I’m female, ergo I am worthless. This attitude is horrifically common with Middle Eastern men – it’s uncommon for Middle Eastern men to not share this attitude.

By: Paintmonkey

Paintmonkey — Wed, 10 Aug 2011 10:08:49 +0000

“Putting the me back in MEAN.” Holy Shite. Putting the me back in “load of old bullshit”, would be better I think.
I do however like the idea of a suit of armour of fat, but slightly altered in that I would actually make the suit of armour out of high calorie foods and stroll around with it on. I cant imagine a better way to make myself more popular and be less mean than to strap on pastries, cakes and chocolates and then trip round town while friendly folk and passing cats help themselves to my suit of armour treats . Surely a great way to have fun, and if I could get through my door and past my own dog while wearing a cake suit I’d do it, by god.

By: Tara

Tara — Wed, 10 Aug 2011 04:08:27 +0000

Oh, I also wish I’d have known you were in Portland. I’d have loved to show you around (and taken you to a FAB locally-owned plus-clothes shop), and also would have loved to take your workshop! Seems the FA movement here has dwindled of late, and we could use some energy!

Please come back soon–there’s lots of fun to be had!

By: JupiterPluvius

JupiterPluvius — Wed, 10 Aug 2011 00:32:34 +0000

Well, she just made this astonishing scientific discovery, after all.

By: Rubyfruit

Rubyfruit — Tue, 09 Aug 2011 22:57:15 +0000

…Bacon donuts don’t sound that appetizing to me, and I like both those things. But it would sound interesting to try.

I also want that title sign on a shirt or a messenger bag or something. Because that would be awesome.

By: AniaGosia

AniaGosia — Tue, 09 Aug 2011 21:48:29 +0000

And without it being labelled as “mean”. Setting and respecting your own boundaries is not mean. If a man were to act in the way that she describes as “mean”, no one would think twice about it.
Also – I was happy to hear you on NPR this morning, but disappointed with the segment. Ending it with the positive portrayal of Biggest Loser made it seem like that was the last word – fat people will always be desperate to lose weight because that’s how things are. Fat is bad. Of course, that’s pretty much the message of most of that series on NPR. I hate the “battle with obesity” language. The “war on drugs” didn’t go so well. Maybe it’s time to stop battling concepts. Just sayin’.

By: silentbeep

silentbeep — Tue, 09 Aug 2011 21:41:49 +0000

lots of peeps are blogging about the Jess Weiner article in Glamour – can’t wait to hear what you think Lesley!

(I mean beyond twitter since I follow you there lol)

By: Amy

Amy — Tue, 09 Aug 2011 18:31:39 +0000

If being mean caused weight loss, I’d have negative mass by now. Seriously, this woman is ridiculous. Why can’t women be encouraged to set boundaries and advocate for themselves without it being packaged as a “diet?”

By: Dora K

Dora K — Tue, 09 Aug 2011 13:29:25 +0000

What a crock of shit! That woman on the Today show is an idiot. She was just a pushover her whole life, but then decided that she was going to “be mean”, and that’s how she lost weight?? Wow, so that’s what I’ve been doing wrong! (omg, I just lost a pound! maybe it does work..)
I have felt anything but protected from my fat…if anything, there are days where I feel like I stick out like a sore thumb!

By: Katherine

Katherine — Tue, 09 Aug 2011 04:27:48 +0000

Can I just take a moment to register my grumblings with that NPR segment? It started out so awesome. Stereotypes still abound! Yeah! The tragic awesomeness of “Huge”! Critical media analysis! Biggest Loser sucks! Except then Biggest Loser doesn’t suck because it Inspires people to Change Their Lives(TM) or whatever the eff. Oh, its creator thinks it’s a great show? Well, I’ll be! Grrrrrrrr.

By: Drama Queen

Drama Queen — Tue, 09 Aug 2011 02:50:21 +0000

THANK YOU.

By: CTJen

CTJen — Mon, 08 Aug 2011 23:06:54 +0000

I tried to watch that Today show clip, I honestly did, but I couldn’t get past the 1:30 mark it was so terrible. And, our fat also protects us from freezing to death in cold weather or starving to death in the first few weeks of a famine. So, YAY for the protection of FAT!! FAT FAT FAT! w00!!!

ahem.