I come to this piece at the age of 25, via a rabbit hole of links from your piece on the daily mail. After twenty years of being “fat,” I’m now a distance runner and a yoga practitioner, and I’ve grown to love whole foods in balanced quantities.* At 5’9″, I’ve been 275 pounds, and am now about 145-150 pounds, and hope to keep it that way as long as I live. It took me six years to lose 125 pounds, and it went up and down and up and down the whole time until very recently. I starved and binged, I drank and smoked cigarettes, I smoked pot every day for five years, I lost 30 pounds every summer only to gain 20 back every winter. Depression, desperation, and fear. Finally, for six months and hopefully for the rest of my life, I’ve stabilized at a weight the medical establishment deems “healthy.”

The problem is the mind, which hasn’t quite caught up yet. I’ve trained myself and practiced enough to love exercise and a clean diet, but not my body, not yet, I just don’t understand it! My boyfriend, a vegetarian and a doctor, said to me last night: “you should go out and buy a pair of shorts tomorrow, it’s going to be so hot and YOU’RE going to be so hot!” I said, “but I’ve never worn shorts before! I don’t even know where to start!!” It’s the truth. I’ve never worn a pair of shorts in my whole life because I was so ashamed of my legs and my shape and the eyes and judgements of strangers. It wasn’t anything negative anyone ever said – I was always the smartest girl in the class, the musician, the one people came to when they had things that were hard to talk about, I was *loved* – it came from within, from a place of fear. Fear is a cage I built around myself, a cage so much larger than any physical attribute could have ever been, and I suffered.

Leslie, I’m not a fat girl anymore, but I can’t tell you how much this piece has inspired me to embrace the body I have, whether it’s 275 or 140 or anything in between. I had to get over a lot to get into my groove now – and I have a lot to get over still – but what you have written today is so inspiring to me and for human beings of all shapes and sizes, everywhere. It’s just a simple human fact that self-love is freedom, and I applaud you for loving yourself and telling your story in a public forum. We are all worthy participants in the world, and we are all beautiful for our lives and spirit. We can all learn so much from you, your positive spirit, your lightness of heart.

Leslie, I’m going shopping for shorts now, thanks again!!

*This is not intended to be a judgement or highfalutin statements or medical advice, this is MY story, what’s best for ME. I sincerely honestly from the bottom of my heart hope that no one reads this and reflects on themselves negatively, I share only for the purpose of explaining who I am today. And if I’m happy today, it’s not because I’m a size 8, it’s because my heart is full and my mind is free.

I’ve forwarded this link to a bunch of my thinner friends because yeah, it is something everyone needs to read. Thanks!

Holy shit, I could have written this. Thank you. I didn’t know there was something “wrong” with my body until I was 6 or 7, when a bunch of older boys cornered me in the school yard to shout at me about my fat body. What ever happened to just being a kid?

(I teach undergrads, and this past year included an essay about FA. lots of pushback, as expected, but a shocking amount of slowly dawning “Oh HEY! there might be something to this!” and later in the course, more than a few students referenced it in their writing; most weren’t totally sold on FA, but they were all saying “I never thought about this like that before” and “there’s something to what that Fattacus lady said” – it’s a piece by Marilyn Wann in which she refers to herself as Fattacus – for some reason, that stuck with virtually every student. who knows).
Anyway, crooning in my best MJ, “you are not alone” and, in my own non-falsetto voice, I would bet that your FA conversations are having more of an impact that you may think.

If I am to value myself, and my intelligence, and my contributions to the world, I must also value the vessel that enables me to engage with that world, and that helps me to experience everything that makes me the person I am, no matter how anyone else may try to tear me down.”

I needed to read this today and to remember it everyday. I’m getting better but still struggle – especially with dating. Thank you, Lesley.

And yet when I try to stand up for my beliefs in my social circles – at work, online, with my family – I get nothing but crap for it. I will never stop believing in the importance of size acceptance. But every time I try to speak up about it, I get nothing but negativity. Short of online communities like Fatshionista or FuckyeahFatPositive, I find no safe space in my world to discuss size acceptance. And if that’s the case, I’m beginning to wonder how much difference I’m actually making.